Fifty Shade Ah Style & Fuck
Chaptah 3-1: Bashment Secrets
After the conference Kerisha & Carlene decided to go out for drinks & party hop fi di weekend to celebrate har promotion H'opportunity. The two friend dem decided to first pass through "Pussy Haffi Good Friday's", as they walked in the DJ did ah play bare (a lot) Dark Skin Kartel chunes (You know? Kartel songs from 2003 - 2007).
Carlene never shy & bust ah pretty whine inna di miggle (middle) ah di pawty while Kerisha H'egged har on.
"Bloodclot mi gyal, Aye Aye, Hot gyal hot gyal inna style, hot gyal hot gyal inna style, Raeeee, Whoyyyy" yells Kerisha as her roommate whines pon ah man.
*SOME GYAL AH PLAY EENY MEENY MINY MOE FI MEMBER (remember) AH WHO DEM BABY FADDA, FROM YUH KNOW AH ONE MAN AH FUCK YUH, MEK MI HEAR YUH SEH WHOYYY!* exclaimed the DJ
Half the party yells out "Whoyyyy!", as Kerisha notices one beard up yute ah walk through the crowd.
"Carlene, look pon dah bwoy deh! Him nuh cute up?" Kerisha excitingly said
"Him H'Alright, kinda look like him nah nuh use, like seh him woulda give yuh ah cute likkle pretty bend H'ova & can't even handle it" replied Carlene as Kerisha laughed
*MY GIRL, FROM YUH KNOW SEH YUH CAN GET ANY MAN YUH WAN' & HIM NAH GO LEF YUH, PAT UP YUH BLOODCLOT PUM PUM!* yelled the DJ as he dropped Cyndi Lauper's "Time After Time"
"Bitch, mi ah go talk to him fi yuh cause yuh need ah Bloodclot man so yuh can stop use up battery buddy every Bloodclot night" said Kerisha
Carlene looked at her like the lady at the Jamaican restaurant would look at you if you asked for extra pepper sauce or oxtail gravy on your rice.
*Kisses teeth* "Gyal, yuh Brite like di star di wise man dem use fi find Jesus when him first born, mi tell yuh seh mi ah look ah man? My likkle rabbit toy ah do mi just fine." *Chuh* replied Carlene
"Eh, well H'EXCUSE mi, gyal it's time fi tek yuh likkle toy friend & dash it whe fi ah bwoyfriend". Kerisha said as she walked H'awf fi go pursue di man
"Boss man, mek mi get ah ah ah ah, mek mi get ah one Guinness, Hanna (and a) Red Stripe. Bless" said the mystery man
"Hello, H'excuse mi. Mi sorry fi ah bodda yuh but I har did wanted to tell yuh that mi friend kinda think seh yuh look GOOD & wanted fi know yuh name. Ah me name Kerisha"
"Eh? Ah dat yuh ah seh? Fi mi name? Dem call mi H'Every Gyal Man" said the mystery guy.
"H'Every Gyal Man? My yute ah wha di name yuh modda gi yuh?" replied Kerisha
"Yuh feisty eh? Mi kinda like yuh H'Achitude (attitude) still, call mi Amare. Sen fi yuh friend dem nuh? Mek mi buy some drinks fi unnu"
Kerisha thanked Amare for the gesture & said she'd be back with her friend.
"Bitch before yuh seh nothing. I hope to yuh granny two front teeth yuh nuh tell di man nuh foolishness." said Carlene as Kerisha approached her smiling
"Girl just come nuh, di man ah buy wi drinks & ting. Ah nuh celebrate wi come fi celebrate? Just come nuh" begged Kerisha
Amare met Carlene & jokingly introduced himself as Dumbledore (cause him wand know fi work magic) then he bought a few rounds of Appleton Rum, Brown Bokkle (Hennesy) & a few Red Bulls. They engaged in conversation for awhile til' it was time for the ladies to hit the next event. Carlene really wasn't H'interested inna Amare which was very blatant & obvious but both her & Kerisha exchanged numbers wid him same way.
On the way into "Gyal Farm Friday's" which was up the block, Carlene asked Kerisha about her thoughts on the promotion.
"Yuh think bout di job H'Awfa yet? I hope yuh nuh tek it eh nuh cause I does not see wha Blacka coulda wan' yuh travel wid him fah"
*IF YUH HOLE NUH BIG LIKE AH WASHING MACHINE, MY GIRL SCREAM* the DJ yelled before playing "This Woman's Work" by Maxwell as the two women were holding conversation on the walk in.
"Honestly girl, mi nuh know mi nuh too wan' focus pon it rightcha now, but whe yuh think bout Amare?" Kerisha asked even though it was clear Carlene showed no interest in him.
"Mi nuh too inna di man eh nuh, him nice but who fi tek ah man people call H'Every Gyal Man seriously? Him can stay where him deh, him look like him ah money man still, yuh see di truck him go inna?" replied Carlene
"Yeah, mi wonder how much gyal him Ave ( have) fi people call him H'Every Gyal Man, him all coulda ave 8,9,10 pikney too" Kerisha said with disgust
Carlene kissed her teeth, "Well mek him stay where him deh, mi H'Alright."
Kerisha nodded her head in agreeance but couldn't tell her friend she was actually interested in Amare & already planned to link up with him.
- Marty Luciano
@MartyaLaMode
Chaptah 3: Decisions (Snippet)
In memory of Shane, R.I.P & Happy Earthstrong dawg!
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