@MartyaLaMode: - The Ugly Friend

Last year I helped the ladies point out their "Hoe Friend", this time around I'm here to help you find the other friend every woman has. The Ugly Friend is the most diverse of any female group, especially since she can be ugly simply because she may be facially challenged, too outspoken with her ugly ass, have the worst attitude or just simply all of the above. The Ugly Friend is visible and always in a group of females, don't EVER think otherwise.

Ugly Friend - An associate females have that happens to be a great listener, and always there when they have man troubles. This friend always makes sure a female is safe because she doesn't play games with any situation.

For the readers & article's sake, we're going to call The Ugly Friend La-Trashita. La-Trashita believes she's the strongest defense of her friends & doesn't realize NOBODY wants her around, go home & exfoliate or something.

Some pretty females are very boring personality wise, and think they're funny because of the "Inside Jokes" they have with their girls & the ugly friend that NOBODY cares about. Initially most guys do not care that these chicks have Razr Phone Syndrome.

Razr Phone Syndrome - A personality & appearance disease females suffer from when they're pretty & slim but have no extra or other features.

Even with Razr Phone Syndrome, I'll still take a female suffering with that over you ugly Galaxy Note II big head ass broads any day. La-Trashita usually has the most to say out the group, and is the boldest one. All guys know who La-Trashita is out of any group of females, ANY group. Females don't recognize their ugly friend off the back at times due to their friendship but once the friendship is over their eyes are open & if you can't recognize the ugly friend in your group look no further, It. Is. YOU.

La-Trashita if you're reading this, you must grasp that we as Males do NOT like you, mind your business & go wash your face. We're tired of you interfering in our business, and leaving your Ugly-Lonely-Ashy feelings in situations that have NOTHING to do with you. For the guys out there, I'm currently speaking with a few chemists on creating an Anti-Ugly Spray to repel these Ugly Heffas when they're out in the wild & send them right back to Rock Tunnel & Diglett's Cave.

If you need help identifying The Ugly Friend, you know I'm more than glad to assist.

The Ugly Friend is the friend that is...
  • The friend after the club that conducts herself like a mother of Bear Cubs, don't be confused though the Ugly Friend may also be the Fat Friend which is a hybrid that Day Day tried to warn us of in "Next Friday" known as Baby D. Baby D is the little sister who's bigger than the big sister, and is difficult to contain. She can be spotted when you're trying to talk to that girl you've been watching in the club the whole night that wouldn't dance with anybody but gave you the greatest whine to a Kartel song. You're trying to lay your Mack down & she's yelling "C'mon y'all, let's GO, I'm ready to GO HOME" as if somebody cares what her big ass is ready to do. Mind your business, don't you see me talking to & entertaining your good looking friend Baby D!? I don't have any unwrapped cookies for you, disperse.
  • The Ugly Friend is the one no one minds is being cropped out of a photo.
  • The Ugly Friend has everyone wondering how many Likes their photo could of got if they didn't hop in it.
  • You know you're The Ugly Friend when you hang out with your home girls & whenever dudes come over to talk to your group, one of the guys always seems to stay behind while the rest talk to your home girls.
  • When it's time to go out & your home girl has to take time to Force a dude to get one of his friends to come out, you're The Ugly Friend. Stop Forcing yourself out.
Us men know who the La-Trashita amongst a group of women is but not all of us can tell how ugly a chick is without actually seeing her. Fellas, this is how you can tell that a chick The Ugly Friend without having to waste your time...
  • If you ask a girl how her friend looks and she says any of the following, just get out of there. "She's cool/Yeah all my girls are BAD/Pretty/Look good/I don't hang with wack chicks". Don't be fooled.
  • Ask for a photo of her friend, and if she can't acquire one but says stuff like "She doesn't have a Twitter/IG" don't even bother with the Lochness Trashter.
  • Always remember, a girl never thinks her friends are ugly due to the loyalty they don't even really have. Don't pop up later talking about "I never realized how ugly this girl was", she was ALWAYS ugly. Listen mam, I know ugly when I see it & your friends are ugly.
I have no problem with females & their ugly friends I just want you to guys to grow up & stop misleading the gullible guys out there. If you're the Ugly Friend, stop tweeting late at night you know damn well you need some beauty rest. Go To BED. Ladies, remember that girls is NOT your friend, she's just somebody you use to make yourself feel better. Be Blessed.

- Marty Luciano
@MartyaLaMode

Author : MartyaLaMode À La Mode is here to showcase all things Wavy.

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