@MartyaLaMode: - The Hoe Friend

Before we start with this topic, let's remember that À La Mode is a judgement free zone & I'm only here to enlighten. Now, EVERY female whether they realize it or not has two types of friends the "Hoe Friend" & the "Ugly Friend", matter of fact they may even be that hoe/ugly friend in question. This article is here to help point out the "Hoe Friend", and to help females cure the "Fake Friend" plague they always seem to suffer from. We just may tackle the topic of the "Ugly Friend" at a later date.

"Hoe Friend" - An associate that females have, who is solely around for entertainment because she is guaranteed to know where the excitement is when a female is bored.

We're just going to call the Hoe friend "Hoeisha" for the article's sake.

Let's face it, females LOVE excitement & the motto "Girls just want to have fun" will forever be all truth, but it doesn't mean that some females don't have limitations on their fun. Females always go through the "Fake Friend" issue, but it's mostly just because of disrespectful crossings of the barrier of fun or respect. The Hoe Friend "Hoeisha" never understands that when some females get in a relationship they aren't willing to do the same things y'all once did for fun. Let's remember this, NO man wants his woman constantly out with Hoeisha, because she's bound to have you in another man's face(Most likely the faces of a group of men at a time). Honestly most guys don't even like their woman's single friends, and it's Vice Versa with women.

Hoeisha if you are reading this, you must know that she isn't being a "Fake Friend" to you because she isn't talking to you as often as before. There's a limit to the "Hoe Tales" a female wants to hear once she's in a relationship, and believe it or not she does share your stories with her man, which gives him even more reason to not want her around you. That man doesn't want her on the phone or texting you when they're chilling together, and 95.8% of the time Hoe Friends don't respect time management & relationship "Quality Time". Save your Hoe Tales, grievances with many men for the appropriate time. Nobody wants to hear Hoe Tales 24/7 except other hoes, unless you tales are better than hers of course.

If you still aren't too sure if you're the Hoeisha or your group, I'm always glad to help.

You're the Hoe Friend if...

1. You rarely get invited to little dinners, or random dates amongst your friends. They're most likely indulging in some Sushi or Thai food while gossiping about their lives, how much their boyfriends & significant other "Ain't Sh*t", and the wild things that you do.
2. You have "Friends" but always feel lonely or like you're on your own.
3. You only get hit up occasionally.
4. You found out what your friends did yesterday by lurking tweets, or by clicking Twitpics.
5. You ONLY have issues or beef with girls you deem as "Hoes". Hoes tend to clock, beef, and point fingers at each other. A wise man by the name of  Christopher Bridges once said "You doing hoe activities, with hoe tendencies, hoes are your friends, hoes are your enemies".

Fellas, you ever ask a female you're cool with about one of her attractive friends who NEVER seems to be around except in party photos or at strange events, that just may be Hoeisha. The Hoe Friend is rarely present for calm functions, that simply isn't her habitat. Hoeisha rarely has friends so she invites you to big public events, because that's where her actions can be acceptable. You can't place a lion in the middle of Times Square & expect it to not be a lion, that isn't it's habitat, same case with the species known as Hoeisha. A female won't bring that Hoe Friend around her homeboys, because she doesn't want to deal with whatever happens between any of you. The Hoe Friend knows about ALL the parties, and gatherings, she might even get the ladies in free of charge. Hoeisha knows how to have a good time, she knows what fun is & females keep this friend around for reasons like this, amongst plenty others. Hoeisha will go out all by her lonesome if she has to, she'll complain about it on her Twitter account but will get over it quick if the event meets her hoeish quota.

• The Hoe Friend knows ALL the DJ's, party promoters, and photographers at the events she invites you to. She might even get you in the event #FoFree , and she somehow only does V.I.P with free before 12 money.
• The Hoe Friend complains about how much she doesn't see you, how much you go out without her, how much you've changed & constantly being around your man, but when you actually invite her out she doesn't want to show up because she doesn't want to pay $20 to be around any men who aren't going to pay her any attention.
• The Hoe Friend just happens to know cab service numbers everywhere y'all seem to go OR she just might be the one with the car.
• The Hoe Friend is never afraid to invite you out & ditch you to dip off with some guy.
• If you refer to men you've slept with as "Kills" or men you've "Taken Down", yeah you're definitely the Hoe Friend.
• Let's always remember, hoes can't be friends & even if they are the friendship won't last long. Never forget the wise words of Christopher Bridges "Hoes are your friends, hoes are your enemies", this is a true statement for any hoe on this side of the Milky Way.

- Marty Luciano
@MartyaLaMode

Author : MartyaLaMode À La Mode is here to showcase all things Wavy.

Article @MartyaLaMode: - The Hoe Friend is published by MartyaLaMode 6 Comment: